


Beneath the Surface

by carolinecrane



Category: The Brotherhood (2001)
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2010-10-01
Updated: 2010-10-01
Packaged: 2017-10-12 08:38:19
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,371
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/122999
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/carolinecrane/pseuds/carolinecrane
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Sequel to Rush. He's not supposed to want this.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Beneath the Surface

He wakes to soft warmth, sighing contentedly in that space between sleep and waking. When warm shifts to solid, stifling heat he comes completely awake with a start, panicking as he locates the source of his rising temperature. Chris is still draped across him, their limbs tangled together and Chris' steady breaths warming his neck as Dan's memory kicks in.

 

Judging by the still-dark sky out the window Dan knows they've only been asleep for a few hours, but it's enough to leave him feeling sticky and stifled and uncomfortable. The bed seems way too small for both of them now that he's awake – well, now that he's awake and not distracted by Chris' hands all over him. And God, he's never going to be able to think about what they've done without blushing. He has no idea what he's doing, even now that he's actually done it. He's sure he was bad at it, anyway, and Chris…well, he has something to compare it to.

Part of Dan almost feels better knowing that Chris slept with Devon. He knows he should probably be jealous, but the truth is that if Chris wanted Devon at least that means he ditched Dan for a reason. It isn't a very good reason, but it's easier to live with that than the knowledge that Chris ditched him because he isn't cool enough. And he hates that he's willing to settle for being Chris' second choice, but it isn't like Dan can blame him.

He knows he doesn't compare to Devon. Sure, there was the whole 'evil, soulless vampire' thing, but that doesn't change the fact that Devon was popular and hot and practically dripped sex when he walked, and Dan's still the geeky kid from the middle of nowhere with a suitcase full of books and no chance of ever scoring with a girl.

Except that he's scored with a guy, and not just any guy. He'd scored with his roommate, the sarcastic, sort of scary, completely hot roommate who he would have sworn on that first day was going to turn out to be one hundred percent straight. Possibly even one hundred percent homophobic, and if Dan had had time to panic about that in their first week together he probably would have. But he hasn't had time to panic about much of anything except keeping Chris from getting himself killed, and now that Chris is alive and fine and breathing steadily in the bed next to him, the panic's starting to kick in.

It starts with the realization that they're both very naked, their clothes tangled together in a heap on the floor where Dan can't reach them without waking Chris. He can feel the solid swimmer's muscles of Chris' thighs pressing against his own boy-slim legs, reminding him of how woefully inadequate he is compared to Chris' athleticism, or even Devon's sinewy sex appeal. He's just…Dan, and he's never fooled himself that he was much to look at.

He managed to fool himself for a second or two that Megan might be willing to settle for him, but even that turned out to be a joke. And the sad thing is that the only reason he wanted her in the first place was because he didn't want to have to think about her and Chris. So in a way he kind of deserved to get shot down; he hadn't expected her to turn out to be evil, but it wasn't really that surprising once he put it all together.

One thing he does know for sure – this is shaping up to be the weirdest week of his life, and waking up in bed with Chris isn't making it seem any more normal. He holds his breath as he eases out from under the other boy, hoping to God Chris is a heavy sleeper. He murmurs in his sleep when Dan slides his leg out from under Chris', but he doesn't wake up and a few breathless seconds later Dan's out of the bed.

He pulls his boxers on before he heads for the bathroom, his heart pounding too hard against his chest when he finally closes the door and leans against it. And this is possibly the dumbest thing he's ever done in his whole pathetic life; everybody knows you're not supposed to have sex with your roommate, especially not when you don't know if it's ever going to happen again.

But that's part of the problem, because he doesn't even know if he wants it to happen again. Sure, he _wants_ it – it's Chris, after all, and who wouldn't want him? – but he's not sure he's ready for this kind of complication. Maybe Chris just wants the steady supply of sex without the relationship, and if that's the case…Dan's not sure he can live that way, at least not for long. The thing is that he likes Chris, likes him enough to go after him and try to save his ass when Devon and his creepy friends tried to brainwash him. And he liked having sex with Chris enough to want to go back out there and do it again, but if it turns out this was all adrenaline or something he's going to have to move. Possibly to a new school. In a foreign country.

 

He rolls his eyes at himself and pushes off the door, trying not to picture Chris' mouth on his dick while he takes a leak. He's almost successful, but when he glances in the mirror while he washes his hands and sees his own mouth, his self-control goes right out the window. His lips are bruised and swollen even after a few hours' sleep, there's a mark on his neck that he has a feeling is shaped a lot like Chris' mouth, and he can smell Chris all over him even when he's a whole room away.

And this is when he really starts freaking out, because the evidence is right there staring back at him, and if Chris acts like nothing's changed between them Dan knows he won't be able to play along. Everything he's feeling is written all over his face; even he can see it, and he's pretty sure he's never looked so terrified in his life. Well, maybe when he thought Megan was going to kill him, but even then it would have been worth it if it gave Chris a chance to get away from Devon.

He has no idea what to do. He could spend the rest of the night in the bathroom, but eventually Chris is going to wake up and he's going to want to know what Dan's doing. The obvious answer would be to go back to bed, but he's not sure he can bring himself to get back in Chris' bed. There's always his own bed, but if Chris wakes up and finds him back in his own bed he's going to think Dan doesn't want any of this. And that's the whole problem, because he can't even figure out what the hell he wants.

A soft knock on the bathroom door solves the problem for him, and he jumps so high he nearly cracks a knee on the sink. "Dan?"

"Yeah?" he calls through the door, wincing at the way his voice breaks.

The doorknob turns and Chris pokes his head in the room, his sleepy grin making Dan's heart skip a beat. "You mind if I take a leak?"

"Knock yourself out," Dan answers. He's caught between the urge to get the hell out of there and the paralyzing knowledge that he has no idea what to do with himself once he's back in their room. He can't just stand there and watch, though, so he clears his throat and ducks out of the room, trying hard not to notice that Chris didn't bother putting any clothes on when he got out of bed.

His face burns as he makes his escape, and he doesn't even think about it before he starts gathering clothes off the floor, folding them and dropping them piece by piece onto Chris' desk chair. It gives him something to do, anyway, and it means he doesn't have to think too hard about what's going to happen when Chris comes out of the bathroom. He's so caught up in his own thoughts that he doesn't hear the door open again, and he doesn't hear footsteps until they're right behind him.

 

"That could wait 'til morning, you know."

He can hear the amusement in Chris' voice, but he finishes folding his shirt before he drops it on the chair and turns around. And he knows he should say something, make a crack about having to pick up after Chris or something, anything to cover the fear making his heart pound so loud he's sure Chris can hear it. But as soon as he turns he remembers that Chris is still naked, and the only blood not rushing to his cock is the blood pooled in his cheeks.

Chris is grinning, that vaguely mocking grin of his that always makes Dan feel a little clumsy and stupid, and for a second he's hit with the nearly uncontrollable urge to punch the other boy right in his smug face. It must show in his eyes, though, because as soon as the feeling surfaces Chris stops smiling, and when he reaches out and grabs Dan's shoulders his fingers are shaking a little. "Hey," he says, his voice soothing and not at all amused anymore, "hey. What's the problem?"

Dan has no idea what to say to that, because he's not sure Chris would understand even if he could explain. Because there's absolutely nothing right about this, but he still wants it. He's supposed to be getting over this part of him, leaving all that behind and moving on to parties and girls and normal things that guys like Chris don't even have to think about. But Chris is looking at him like he really cares, and he's _naked_ , for crying out loud, and how's Dan supposed to think when he's just standing there looking so…perfect?

He lets out a shaky laugh and reaches up to pull Chris' hands away from his shoulders, to tell his roommate that he's okay, it's fine but he really thinks he should go back to his own bed now. Only his fingers don't seem to agree with him, because they're threading through Chris' fingers and squeezing like they don't ever want to let go. He opens his mouth to say something, then closes it again when he realizes the only words he can think of are 'I'm gay'. Over and over in his head, like if he thinks it enough it'll start to make sense.

Chris leans in until their foreheads are touching, and Dan's still not used to seeing him this close up. It's weird and kind of hot and it takes his breath away, because Chris is looking at him like he wants him, even now that he knows how bad Dan is at all of this. "It's okay," he says, and when his breath hits Dan's cheek he really, really wants to believe that.

"What…" Dan starts, trailing off when Chris angles his head just enough to brush a kiss across his mouth.

As soon as he registers the gentle press of lips on lips he forgets what he was going to say, and he blushes all over again when Chris kisses him harder and slides a hand down the center of his chest. He still can't believe any of this is happening to him; any second now he expects Chris to push him away, to laugh and call him a fag and tell him it was all just a big joke at his expense. He spent four years in high school being tortured just for looking a second too long in the locker room, and it's hard to believe that Chris isn't just like all those guys in his hometown.

 

He doesn't realize he's shaking until Chris stops kissing him, his arms around Dan's shoulders to pull him close. Before he knows what's happening Chris pushes him back onto the bed, and when he finally opens his eyes he finds Chris looking down at him with an almost sad expression.

"Maybe we should just get some sleep."

He hears the disappointment Chris is trying to hide and it makes him want to laugh, because he knows how hard he is and he can see how hard Chris is. That doesn't make him any less terrified of what they're doing, or any less embarrassed about saying the words out loud, but he's more scared of screwing this up than he is of being terrible at it.

"Not tired."

Chris' mouth quirks at that, but instead of kissing Dan again like he'd hoped he reaches up and runs a hand through Dan's hair. "You don't have to do this, you know. If I'm freaking you out here…"

"It's not you," Dan interrupts, and he's never wished more that the floor would open up and swallow him, because this is the best thing that's ever happened to him and he's going to ruin it before he even figures out whether he wants it or not. "It's me." Broken. Screwed up. Totally clueless. He can think of a dozen different things that are wrong with him, but he doesn't want to give Chris any more ammunition than he already has.

"There's nothing wrong with you," Chris answers, and when he finally smiles Dan's heart lodges in his throat.

The only answer he can give to that is a weird little nod against Chris' pillow, but it turns out not to matter because by the time he starts nodding Chris is already kissing him again. And he's not supposed to like this, but he does. He likes the way Chris' skin feels against him, the way their mouths fit together and the hot pressure of Chris' cock against his thigh. It's exactly the kind of thing he's spent four years telling himself he doesn't want, but now that he knows what it's like he's not sure he can go back to pretending. He's not even sure he wants to, because there's no one here telling him that what he's doing is wrong.

 

He wants more but he's not sure how to take it. He's not even sure what exactly he wants more of, but his hands tighten on Chris' back and then Chris is sliding backwards. Chris lets Dan push him onto his back, but as soon as Dan gets him there he's not sure what to do. He feels the color rising in his cheeks again and wonders if he'll ever stop blushing after tonight, but Chris is watching him and he has to do _something_.

It occurs to him as he runs a hand down the center of Chris' chest just how much he's wanted to touch his roommate this way. He's wanted to do this since the day they met, and it seems like they've known each other forever. It's hard to believe it's only been a couple weeks, especially considering everything they've been through together. In a way it feels like he knows Chris better than he's ever known anyone, and he wonders if that's because they've been living parallel lives all this time. Only their lives haven't been that parallel, because Chris never got the shit beat out of him by his classmates and Dan's pretty sure Devon never would have gone for him the way he did Chris.

A brief flash of blond hair and golden skin makes him wince, and he can tell Chris noticed when a hand closes around his. "What?"

"Nothing," Dan lies, "just…tonight was pretty crazy."

"Yeah," Chris answers, his hand still pressing Dan's fingers against his chest. "Look, Dan, I was serious before. If I'm moving too fast here just say so."

He wants to laugh at that because it's a little late considering, but instead he just shakes his head and tugs his hand out from under Chris'. He watches his hand as it slides down Chris' chest, his fingers shaking slightly as they reach the other boy's stomach. And he's had his mouth on Chris' dick already so touching it shouldn't be such a big deal, but it's the first time he's ever touched anybody but himself and he's still afraid of getting it wrong.

Chris' cock is warm in his hand when he finally wraps his fingers around it, and when Chris lets out a hiss and arches into his grip Dan's struck by how beautiful he really is. This is all wrong, because Chris should be with a guy like Devon, someone who knows what he wants and how to get it. But there's no one here but Dan, and if Chris is offering he's not too proud to take what he can get.

His hand starts to move automatically, finding a rhythm with Chris' hips as he tries to remember all the things he likes when he does this to himself. Only he's never been able to press soft kisses to his own collarbone while he strokes himself, and he's never been able to slide his free hand into soft blond hair, angling his head just a little to press their mouths together. He's never shared breath with another person while they pant against him, fighting the urge to come too soon because they want this feeling to last. This feeling that _he's_ causing, and it's unbelievable enough that he wants to pinch himself to make sure he's not dreaming.

 

His own dick is hard almost to the point of being painful, and when Chris' arms wrap around him to pull him close Dan can't help thrusting against the other boy's hip. The angle's awkward and he wants even more, wants to ditch the boxers he never should have pulled back on and feel their cocks sliding together. He's not sure he can stop, though, and when Chris grunts against his mouth and arches up one last time Dan knows it's too late to find out.

He looks down at Chris' stomach, then his own hand covered in Chris' come, and remembers how amazing it was to watch Chris jerking himself off a few hours ago. He's not sure if Chris is the voyeuristic type – although he's learned tonight that he is – but at the moment it doesn't really matter, because Dan's so hard he can't wait for Chris to catch his breath. He kicks his boxers off with less grace than he'd hoped, but they're off and that's all that matters. His hand's still slick and covered in Chris, and when he finally closes it around his dick he can't stop himself from moaning.

That gets Chris' attention, and Dan can feel those eyes on him as he starts moving his hand in rough strokes. His whole body is flushed with a mixture of need and embarrassment, but it feels way too good to stop and knowing Chris is watching is a bigger turn-on than he expected. He has no idea what that says about him. At the moment he doesn't really care.

Less than a minute later and he's coming, feeling stupid for his lack of stamina but still a little turned on by the fact that Chris is just…watching. He opens his eyes when he feels something soft slide across his stomach, blinking a few times before he can focus enough to register that Chris is using his boxers to clean them both up. When he's done he drops them over the side of the bed, and Dan grins in spite of himself. "Hey, I just finished picking up."

"Trust me, they'll still be there when you wake up," Chris answers, his voice low and close enough to Dan's ear to make him shiver. He's still a little breathless when Chris kisses him again, but he's a lot more relaxed now that he's pretty sure this isn't just a one night thing. And even if it is, it's been a hell of a night.


End file.
